Can Senseless Shootings Be Prevented?
Posted: Saturday, December 22, 2007
by Mark Gregston
Heartlight Ministries
I believe that most young people who go on a shooting rampage in malls or schools, do so because of a combination of two things: hopelessness for their current situation and a sense of abandonment by others. It's an attempt to "pay back" mankind for their misery, forcing others to feel a similar hurt that they have been carrying for years. An understanding of what is driving these young people to plan and carry out mass murder can help bring a sense of "sense" into the "senselessness" and a plan to help insure it doesn't happen with a teenager you know.
I wonder about the 19-year-old shooter in Omaha, Nebraska a few years ago. What was his motivation to shoot and kill 9 innocent people and injure several others in a crowded mall on December 5, making it the deadliest mall shooting in US history. Did anyone sense that something like this could happen? Where were the shooter's friends? Where were Mom and Dad? Why did he feel that the killing of others and then himself would compensate for loss in his own life? Where did his hopelessness and rage come? Don't you find yourself asking the same questions, trying to "make sense" of it all?
Many of the increasingly common mall, school and church shooting tragedies are met with comments from friends of the shooter that say in some form, "I never knew that this person would do this…" or, "We did all the right things…how could this have happened?" or "This young man was a Christian kid, how could he have….?" These are questions that we probably won't know the answer to this side of heaven. But, why didn't anyone see the shooter's anguish before he took out his pain on others?
Hurt people, hurt people. And if we can help those who hurt, it will stop them from hurting others.
Hopelessness is a tough state of mind to be in, no matter who you are. And hopelessness left alone can breed depression and even contempt. In a state of depression people just don't think well. They feel isolated. They feel that no one likes them. They feel "dark." They are sometimes consumed with irrational thoughts like, "Why was I even born?" or, "I'm nothing but a failure." Left alone and untreated, these people can justify just about anything….ending their own life, an uncaring attitude about other's lives, and a mindset that "things will only get worse." It's a tough place to be.
If those thoughts are fueled by the unkind actions of others, whether actual or perceived, it can be enough to send a hopeless and depressed person over the edge. As rare as these incidents are, they capture our hearts and attention, and should cause us all to reflect on what could have been done to prevent such tragedies, since in many more cases that we don't hear about, the hopeless teenager simply ends it all without fanfare.
Now, there are people that have psychological issues far beyond the common person's ability to help them. In most cases, these issues are quite apparent and good doctors and medications can help. But there are many more people, and teenagers in particular, who silently struggle. If we never try to reach out to those silent ones who are struggling, they will continue down their dark path.
"Faithless is he who disappears when the road is dark." –J.R.R. Tolkien
If you think you cannot help a teen through such a situation, let me assure you that it doesn't take a degree or some great skill. It takes a "with-ness" -- being with someone as they struggle through tough times, to bring light to those dark places.
So, How Can Family and Friends Intervene?
1. Brush Off the Push-Off - Don't avoid what you think is a despondent teenager's attempt to keep you away. Always offer yourself in ways that let the young person know that there is nothing they can do to push you away.
2. Just Listen - Spend time "being" rather than "fixing." Be with them and don't try to fix everything. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and don't get mad when they say things that are "sharp" or confused.
3. Encourage Help - Encourage the help of others. Counselors, doctors, therapists, pastors, teachers, school staff, and even law enforcement if things get beyond what you think you can handle. Just don't give up. Hang in there with them. The reason many people don't reach out for help is because that action would confirm in their own minds that there is something wrong with them. So any way that you can help them feel and understand that it's okay to not have it all together. The best way to transfer this concept is to let them know that you don't have it all together either.
4. Be Watchful - If you see something that is suspect in a teenager, get other people involved. Don't just ignore what your heart is telling you. I'm not saying that you should have a license to be paranoid about everyone you see, but I am convinced that there are many people out there, that would welcome a helping hand to literally cling onto as they walk through their struggles.
5. Keep With It - Stay in the relationship for the long haul. Hurt people take time to heal. Let them know that you will walk with them on the "long walk," not just the "short stroll." Don't abandon them.
I am sure that I have met many young people just like each of these shooters. Had they not worked through their "issues" and developed new coping skills in our Heartlight residential counseling program, it would not have surprised me to hear their names on such a newscast. I know, because I have talked, and mostly listened to them for hours, weeks and months to help them through it.
Bringing light to dark situations with teenagers is what our full-time Heartlight residential counseling program in East Texas is all about. We've helped thousands of teens get on the other side of such issues, and I cannot help but wonder what kind of trouble those kids would have gotten into had they not received the kind of love and treatment we provide. Many of them now say, "I'd be dead today had I not gone to Heartlight." Question is, would they have taken anyone else with them?
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Mark, Excellent article. I am always bothered by statements by those who say they knew nothing was troubling these perpetrators. With all kids there are plenty of warning signs. Also, as a society we perpetuate the pattern through agressive forms of media including violent video games and CD's. As a therapist, I see kids continuously who have the potential to spew their rage and anger on others. Thanks for you insights!Please log in to respond to this comment.Thank you for your comments. I appreciate your interest in helping kids.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I salute you and your cause as long as there are people like you who truly care, there is hope for future generations of young people who just can't make sense of it all. At 59 years old I haven't stoped asking whyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Mark, thank you for sharing these insights. As a mom with two teenagers, I have seen these kinds of behaviors in many of my children's friends. My experience has been that these kids feel slighted because they do not have both parent's at home. Some do not live with either parent. Our home has always been open to these kids. My son, who is now 17, is just now thanking us for being in his business and for asking "such annoying" questions. Our biggest weapon of this warfare is prayer. It is heartbreaking that kids are being swept in by The Lie of this world. Praise God for your ministry and the great things you and your team do for these kids who need a good example of faith, hope and love. Parents and friends need to stay involved no matter how annoying our kids say we are, they really do appreciate it. I will be praying for your ministry and for the Lord to raise many more just like it all around our nation. Blessings to you in christ, TeresaPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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